Every relationship has conflicts, and problems. It is just the nature of people, we are selfish, and we tend to think of ourselves before others. Some fighting can be good, if you do it in the right way. Not every solution has to be a compromise either. I feel like if you spend enough time talking out your problem, in the right way, both parties can win. This goes for not only talking to your spouse, but with your mom, and sister, and boss. There are 7 steps to conflict resolution 

1. Identify and Define the issue

You have to know what the issue is before you can do anything, make sure that you state it in terms of I-statements. This is not a problem with your spouse, this is how you feel.

2. Contract

Tell you spouse about the issue and then ask when you can talk about it. 

3. Clarifying the issue completely

Really explain why this is a problem for you. 

4. Identify wants for self, others and us.

If there is a problem there is a reason for it. Explain what you want changed

5. Identify Alternatives

Brainstorm with your spouse, any idea is a good idea. Write them all down. One idea can lead you to another so don't discount anything. 

6. Choose a plan of action.

Decide which idea or combination of ideas works for both of you

7. Try the plan and review/ renegotiate

Set a time frame to talk about the problem again and see if the solution sticks or needs to be adjusted. 

We talked through a problem following these steps, and honestly it worked so much better. We actually talked about our problem instead of arguing about who was right.